So, I Am A Licensed Driver Now

As I am taking a break from the more intense subjects, I thought it would be appropriate to share about my driving status as it has recently changed! I am now a New York State Licensed driver! Some of you may ask, why now?

Yes, I am 26 and I only just passed my road test as of June 6th. Let me share with you my journey—mostly because those who do not know me as well may wonder why this was delayed, and now I can share it in one place.

For starters, I am visually impaired. My condition is Bilateral Cataract Aphakia Nystagmus. Bilateral Cataracts is a condition in which the lens of the eye is clouded, affecting its ability to focus light. Aphakia is the condition in which the lens is removed (due to cataract surgery). This prohibits the ability to focus which influences far-sighted vision. And Nystagmus, another side effect of cataract surgery, is a condition in which the eyes make repetitive and uncontrolled movements. As a result, overall vision and depth perception can be affected.

Most people who are visually impaired (or visually disabled) are generally subjected to a lower quality of life: lower-end jobs, use of public transit, less annual income, systemic marginalization, and depression. I could write paragraph upon paragraph of the challenges of the visually impaired individual and how that might affect their emotional, psychological, and mental health (maybe another post). However, I want to focus on

God’s provision in my life. In a sense, I am very privileged.

Why is knowing about my visual impairment important? I had cataract surgery when I was an infant. When I was sixteen, my eye doctor (at the time) told me that I would never be able to drive. Of course, this was devastating to me. The fact that I would always need to depend on someone else to get to where I needed to go weighed heavily on me. This became especially apparent when I attended Houghton College. Houghton is literally in the middle of nowhere. There is a local grocery store and Dollar General about 8 miles down the road, but any other sign of civilization was at least a 40-minute drive away. This made things increasingly difficult when there is not much of a public transportation system in place. Anytime I needed to purchase even toiletries or personal items, I needed to rely on someone else to give me a ride. Of course, this helped me with humility.

When, I was 20 I decided that I was going to pursue a learner permit. Unfortunately (because I did not have an appropriate eyeglass prescription), I failed the eye exam. Again, the words “he will never be able to drive” from my childhood eye doctor rung in the back of my mind. I was defeated. I remember my father pleading with me to trust in God through this process—to bring all my concerns and wishes to our Heavenly Father. Honestly, this was easier said than done at the time. However, within a few years, God was able to grant me peace. Even through I was not able to drive, I was okay with it. I had accepted that if God wanted me to drive, he would allow me to drive. And if He did not, then we would not.

At the age of 24, I saw a new eye doctor and received a new eyeglasses prescription. However, due to my embarrassment, I never asked him about driving and I did not even get a new pair of glasses until much later (after all, I never had a script that really helped me with distance). I am embarrassed to say that I did not do either of these things sooner. If I had, perhaps I would have been a driver sooner. But sometimes God allows doors to be open for us even when we are not looking.

It was not until I was 25 that I finally ordered a new pair of glasses. For the first time, I could see! I could see the details in the bushes. I could see words projected on screens clearly. I could see road signs quicker. I could see road signs! Perhaps, I might be able to drive. Maybe.

It was not until April 1st of this year when I saw another eye doctor in Rochester that I mustered up the courage to ask about driving. He almost seemed confused, which left me confused. Unbeknownst to me, I can see 20/30 with corrective lenses. The requirement to drive in New York State is 20/40. What?! You mean I could have pursued driving within the least two years? Additionally, I learned that one can technically drive with 20/70 vision in New York (a restricted license for only daytime driving) There was a part of me that thought this was a joke. After all, it was April Fool’s Day. But it was not joke. It was happening. That Wednesday (April 3rd) I took my written test and applied for a Learner Permit. Weeks leading up to the April 1st appointment, I remember praying to God. I remember pleading with Him, “If it is your will, please allow me to be able to drive. You know my concerns and you know my heart. Your will be done.” I remember feeling at peace about this. Even as I talked with my wife about my situation months leading up to the April 1st appointment, I felt at peace. If I was not going to be a driver. That was okay. After all, I am so blessed as a visually impaired person. I can still live a comfortable fulfilling life. A life, that many visually impaired individuals do not get to experience.

But now, as of April 3rd, I could peruse driving.

Over the next two months, I learned how to drive. Of course, when I was 18, my father took me on a few driving lessons in a parking lot, but I did not take them as seriously as I could have because I never thought that this could be a possibility. Now I could. With the help of my very patient wife, I learned how to drive in a city and learned the maneuvers that was needed to pass the road test.

I am happy to say, as of June 6th, I am a New York State licensed driver. This is never something that I thought I would ever say, yet, here I am.

There is only one reason why this is possible.

God.

God made the provision. God made a way. For that, I will continue to give Him glory and praise, even if my time as a driver is for a season. God heard my heart and my cry, and He made it possible. I do not know how. Maybe my childhood eye doctor really thought that I would not be able to drive, or maybe it was another example of the systemic prejudice that keeps impaired individuals marginalized—I will never know. But I do know this, anything is possible with God. If He wills it, then it will happen. I am a testament to that. The fact that I can live a comfortable life, have earned multiple degrees, have a full-time job in my field, and can drive as a visually impaired individual is only by God’s doing!

I am thankful for God’s provision in my life. I am thankful for my wife who helped me on this journey, supported me even when we thought that I would never drive, and played a quintessential role in my earning a driver license. And, I am thankful for my immediate family who always believed in me in times when I did not, especially when it came to my ability to drive. I am thankful.

So, what do I do now that I am a licensed driver? I continue to drive safely and give God glory and praise.

As with all my blogs, this is solely my opinion. I do not want to pretend to have the absolute “right answer.” I am speaking to myself as much as I am speaking to others. It is okay to disagree with me, and I welcome discourse. My only request is that every word of each blog is weighed heavily and considered before agreeing or disagreeing with the points presented in each entry. Please keep in mind that I am a Christian, so my beliefs and opinions will be influenced by my faith. I will upload blogs every Friday. If you would like to suggest a topic for me to cover, you can do so via Facebook or twitter. You can follow me on twitter @mjeromebell #themiddlegroundblog

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