#roads: Is Our Call-Out Culture Working?

I was perusing through Facebook one day and came across a post that caused me to think about something I have seen a few times on my social media. In this status update, the original poster asks about the weather conditions because their spouse had an hour commute planed for the day. One commenter responded, “Roads are terrible.” Another commenter, who commented within minutes of the first, responded with, “The roads look pretty good, actually.” There is potential for a social study on whether the second commenter was influenced by the first, but that is not what I am going to focus on in this post. I want to draw attention to the word, “roads.” What is the implication behind this word?

“Roads are bad.”

What roads? Are all roads bad?

“Of course, when I say roads, I don’t mean all roads.”

Sound familiar?

#roads

For the first commenter, it is likely the roads they traveled were not favorable, whereas the roads the second commenter traveled were plowed and in good shape. OR, the first commenter was not yet accustomed to northern weather and wouldn’t travel in these conditions, whereas the second commenter was born and raised in Western New York (or any other snowy area), thus, the weather was not a big deal for them. Either way, it is hard to know the exact road conditions because both responses were subjective. Both commenters probably thought they were being objective (and maybe they were); however, when context is missing (like what “roads” they were talking about), the information then becomes subjective because we are not able to identify what is true and what is false.

Although the conditions of the “roads” is not a moral issue, this type of behavior is a pattern that I see from time to time on my social media. I’m not saying that this happens all the time or even most of the time but that it does happen sometimes. We should consider this phenomenon more closely. Sometimes, we are afraid people will not take us seriously if we just say how we see it. For example, “This one road is bad.” However, if we say, “roads are bad” or “all roads are bad,” then the people who see our posts or comments might be more inclined to believe us.

I believe this is relevant in our “call-out” culture. If you don’t believe me, keep reading.

Racism.

Reverse-racism.

Feminism.

Toxic Masculinity.

Homophobia.

Pro-life.

Evangelical Conservative Culture (I admit, I am certainly guilty of using this one).

2nd Amendment Rights.

Illegal immigrants.

Whites.

Straights.

Gays.

Snowflakes.

If I were a betting man, I would bet my last dollar that one or more (if not all) of these words caused your heart rate to increase. This is because we throw these words around social media so often, we begin to lose the actual meaning of the term we are using.

Let’s observe “toxic masculinity” for example. What are the implications behind this term? In a quick google search, it was difficult to find a consistent definition. However, for the sake of this post, let us use one from Urban Dictionary (even though it may be different from your own definition):

”A social science term that describes narrow repressive type of ideas about the male gender role, that defines masculinity as exaggerated masculine traits like being violent, unemotional, sexually aggressive, and so forth.”

In this google search there are different interpretations of this term. You should google it for yourself if you have the chance.

Nevertheless, why do we use a word that is so vague that it can potentially cause confusion? We then don’t argue about if exaggerated masculine traits can cause people to be harmful to themselves or others but, rather, argue whether the word exists or who the word is targeted to.

#roads

If we are going to call a spade a spade, then call it a spade, not a card.

We should not say, “These cards are bad” when in fact only two spades are bad. We also should not say, “Toxic Masculinity is a thing,” but neglect to define what that means or how it can be addressed. Yes, “racism” can be seen today, but how does that change anything? Simply posting one of these trigger words in order to “educate” or “have conversations” about a topic just to receive likes or affirmation can be counterproductive and ultimately unfruitful to the cause.

Consider this scenario with me.

If I said to my spouse, “stop being a nagging wife:” how might she respond to that? Chances are, she might not respond favorably. However, I could say, “Honey, I don’t process information well immediately after a long day of work. Could we discuss improvements in our relationship after I have had something to eat first?” or “Dear, would you mind speaking in an encouraging tone when addressing areas in which I can improve? I will promise to do the same.” This way, my spouse knows exactly what I am asking, she does not need to guess or intuit what “nagging wife” means, and she has more information to draw from when considering a change in her actions. Perhaps we should implement this into our social media culture.

An example of this can be observed from a Biblical perspective as well. Consider the story from John, Chapter 4:1-30. This is the story of Jesus’ interaction with the Samaritan women. Notice He does not use the terms ‘adulterer’ or ‘harlot’ to get her attention. However, He establishes a connection.

Once that connection is made - and He knows He has a listening ear – He addresses her sins. Specifically, that she had several husbands and was living with a man who was not her husband. But, He does not stop there. He does not post on twitter or Facebook, “adultery is real” or “living with someone when you are not married is wrong.” He offers her a way forward. He offers her a chance to follow Him, the Messiah. He offers her a chance at true repentance and redemption. He offers her the gospel.

As a result of this conversation, the Samaritan women was able to lead other Samaritans to Christ. Whereas if Jesus would have busted into town using vague ‘hot-topic’ words, the results may have been different (as an aside, the above examples show a man correcting the actions of a woman. The choice of gender was not intentional, and it should be worth noting that this scenario can apply to any person or party regardless of their gender, race, or orientation).

There is something to be learned from this. If we want to call out sin, that is okay. If we want to call out something that is morally wrong, that is okay too. But, if we are going to do it, especially if it is over social media, we should cite specific examples. We should not be okay with just saying “racism exists” We should not even use the word racism but, rather, cite a specific event and offer immediate steps of how to solve the issue instead of telling others to only “listen” to what we are saying. After all, we want change, right? We must encourage the actions of the change we want (Jesus can be viewed as the ultimate example in utilizing this approach). If we approach these issues this way, we might have more success in solving the issues our society faces today—if that is, in fact, the goal.

As with all my blogs, this is solely my opinion. I do not want to pretend to have the absolute “right answer.” I am speaking to myself as much as I am speaking to others. It is okay to disagree with me, and I welcome discourse. My only request is that every word of each blog is weighed heavily and considered before agreeing or disagreeing with the points presented in each entry. Please keep in mind that I am a Christian, so my beliefs and opinions will be influenced by my faith. I will upload blogs every Friday. If you would like to suggest a topic for me to cover, you can do so via Facebook or twitter. You can follow me on twitter @mjeromebell #themiddlegroundblog

#blog #roads #socialmedia #calloutculture